All I want is some ribs, corn bread, mash potatoes, candied yams, mac and cheese followed by sweet potato pie and a slice of red velvet cake. And if as if that's not a lot, some catfish and hush puppies.
I don't know if this craving is the result of me fasting at least twice a week since July or even because I am fasting today. I haven't been able to do work either. I am just here waiting for 6pm to come around so I can have some food.
This is not what fasting was created for. I have prayed and read my devotion. I've even had a deep convo with God. Sad thing is the lack of food is reeking havoc on my memory so I'm not sure what revelations I had with the Lord.
I know my next fast will be better though...they have to be.
I am fasting, twice a week minimum until the end of the year. Ball park, that'll be over 40 fasts in the second half of the year alone.
I want to make sure that I'm not doing it to just do it. I catch myself saying that this is pointless. Not because He is not hearing me but because He has so why am I putting my body and mind through the agony of not eating?
Maybe it's to show my desire. Funny though, because technically I'm not fasting for me. It's for my new church (don't remember if I've mentioned this...ooh the fast). They need $2 million by the end of the year to buy the church. So basically this is for "the building fund" [insert Steve Harvey joke here]. And know God is going to do it, I can feel it for some reason. I pledged $2000 even before I had a job much less one that pays over 40,000 a year. Then God got me a contract position the week after I pledged. I've been working ever since. It literally came from nowhere. If He did that I know that He has done it for the church even if it's for the amount of $2 million. Hey, $2000 might as well have been $2 million when I was jobless and fresh from a European vacation with an AMEX full of debt.
Where was I? It's the fast. All I know is that next year, oh wonderful and sweet next year, fasting will not be used liberally. Yes, I want to keep going to newer heights of faith but maybe I'll try 4am devotions (I haven't been able to that consecutively ever--I'm mean get out of bed prayers too, not just under the covers).
I just want food. BUT Lord, this is a big thing I am seeking You for. I want to know that no matter the outcome, I sought you earnestly and diligently.
Amen,
1.5hrs left...
I don't know if this craving is the result of me fasting at least twice a week since July or even because I am fasting today. I haven't been able to do work either. I am just here waiting for 6pm to come around so I can have some food.
This is not what fasting was created for. I have prayed and read my devotion. I've even had a deep convo with God. Sad thing is the lack of food is reeking havoc on my memory so I'm not sure what revelations I had with the Lord.
I know my next fast will be better though...they have to be.
I am fasting, twice a week minimum until the end of the year. Ball park, that'll be over 40 fasts in the second half of the year alone.
I want to make sure that I'm not doing it to just do it. I catch myself saying that this is pointless. Not because He is not hearing me but because He has so why am I putting my body and mind through the agony of not eating?
Maybe it's to show my desire. Funny though, because technically I'm not fasting for me. It's for my new church (don't remember if I've mentioned this...ooh the fast). They need $2 million by the end of the year to buy the church. So basically this is for "the building fund" [insert Steve Harvey joke here]. And know God is going to do it, I can feel it for some reason. I pledged $2000 even before I had a job much less one that pays over 40,000 a year. Then God got me a contract position the week after I pledged. I've been working ever since. It literally came from nowhere. If He did that I know that He has done it for the church even if it's for the amount of $2 million. Hey, $2000 might as well have been $2 million when I was jobless and fresh from a European vacation with an AMEX full of debt.
Where was I? It's the fast. All I know is that next year, oh wonderful and sweet next year, fasting will not be used liberally. Yes, I want to keep going to newer heights of faith but maybe I'll try 4am devotions (I haven't been able to that consecutively ever--I'm mean get out of bed prayers too, not just under the covers).
I just want food. BUT Lord, this is a big thing I am seeking You for. I want to know that no matter the outcome, I sought you earnestly and diligently.
Amen,
1.5hrs left...
No comments:
Post a Comment