Testimony: Comfort for the jobless

I'm watching Living Single reruns on Youtube and some random movies online. I've been off for a week. I've gotten some things done but on Friday, my fifth day off, I did nothing. I temped for a day and a half during that week but on Friday while fasting I just watched T.V. online while in bed and T.V. in the living room. Then there was revival at church. I forced myself to renew my spirit and my thoughts about being off. It's messed up because only being away from work (a permanent position) for a week and already people are grouping me into the hopeless and jobless category.

But I have faith and proof that God can do it and will do it for me again. I had a wonderful three month position making $21/hr. Is there anything God can't do?

So I am not counting myself amongst those who have lost hope. I know I will be working again, soon.

The thing is that I don't know how to articulate my faith to my friends who are in the same position.

I am writing out right here some tips on how to not go mental while job searching.

• Have Faith-pray to God for strength to be patient and know that your position is on the way
• Know your worth-write out what you want and what you deserve
• Do activities you like daily- ie. watch a show
• Be diligent- everyday, only for an hour or so, look/apply for jobs
• Assess- look at your progress daily, weekly and ask where do I want to be and how do I get there
• Constantly look for new leads- stalk out the places you want to work for
  

I had a lot more to say when I first starting writing this but I think those points summarized what I've learned.

the ship is going through the storm...AGAIN

I wish it was all over. Technically it is. If I have faith it is. I off from my wonderful job. My position got cut short. I got caught up in the fact that someone there said I would be there for at least three months. I started doing my budget and planning my shopping trip. I gave thanks to God and wrote out my testimony and splat. It all came crashing down. I got 24 hours notice and then I was unemployed again.

I have nothing but faith that I will be working again by the end of the week if not sooner. This has happened before so I need to just trust Him. Today I have errands to run so I'm grateful for a business day off. and I'll wait for my position to come.

Amen

A Deeper Understanding of God's Love

I came across an article by Sheeri Mitchell and received revelations from it. Here are some excerpts:

Once married, I understood the type of intimacy God wants with us. I understood from experience why he uses the metaphor of marriage to describe his relationship to us. I understand why he calls himself a jealous God. I understand how he “aches” (for lack of a better word) to be in relationship with us, for us to be as preoccupied with him as he is with us. I understand how he continually gives good gifts over and over to woo us to himself and how it breaks his heart when we reject him. I get it

There is nothing I hold back from my Father in heaven. Have you ever been so grateful to someone for something (s)he has done for you that you just want to show that person – demonstrate to that person – your appreciation by offering your best?

...the biggest benefits of all are that in a God-ordained marriage, done God’s way, you have the best opportunity to discover your own humanity and to experience the nature of your Creator.

...I now know that true love flows in only one direction – outward to others. Armed with this knowledge, I purpose to become as pure a vessel as possible for that love to flow through me.

Read more here.

Fasting

All I want is some ribs, corn bread, mash potatoes, candied yams, mac and cheese followed by sweet potato pie and a slice of red velvet cake. And if as if that's not a lot, some catfish and hush puppies.

I don't know if this craving is the result of me fasting at least twice a week since July or even because I am fasting today. I haven't been able to do work either. I am just here waiting for 6pm to come around so I can have some food.

This is not what fasting was created for. I have prayed and read my devotion. I've even had a deep convo with God. Sad thing is the lack of food is reeking havoc on my memory so I'm not sure what revelations I had with the Lord.

I know my next fast will be better though...they have to be.
I am fasting, twice a week minimum until the end of the year. Ball park, that'll be over 40 fasts in the second half of the year alone.

I want to make sure that I'm not doing it to just do it. I catch myself saying that this is pointless. Not because He is not hearing me but because He has so why am I putting my body and mind through the agony of not eating?

Maybe it's to show my desire. Funny though, because technically I'm not fasting for me. It's for my new church (don't remember if I've mentioned this...ooh the fast). They need $2 million by the end of the year to buy the church. So basically this is for "the building fund" [insert Steve Harvey joke here]. And know God is going to do it, I can feel it for some reason. I pledged $2000 even before I had a job much less one that pays over 40,000 a year. Then God got me a contract position the week after I pledged. I've been working ever since. It literally came from nowhere. If He did that I know that He has done it for the church even if it's for the amount of $2 million. Hey, $2000 might as well have been $2 million when I was jobless and fresh from a European vacation with an AMEX full of debt.

Where was I? It's the fast. All I know is that next year, oh wonderful and sweet next year, fasting will not be used liberally. Yes, I want to keep going to newer heights of faith but maybe I'll try 4am devotions (I haven't been able to that consecutively ever--I'm mean get out of bed prayers too, not just under the covers).

I just want food. BUT Lord, this is a big thing I am seeking You for. I want to know that no matter the outcome, I sought you earnestly and diligently.

Amen,

1.5hrs left...

Faith in God and Prayer is all it takes...

so keep on running!

I added a quote from former POW, General Robbie Risner, to the side bar. When asked how he survived over seven years in a Vietnamese prison camp he said it was prayer. Others even said that his faith and optimism is what got them through.

What a testimony. I have a friend whose testimony is the boldest example of God's power in my life. She is a product of a single mother who was also the product of single mother, grew up on welfare and also was sexually abused for a number of years in her childhood. All of that has occurred in her life and she still was able to break the cycle of kids out of wedlock, become a university graduate and an outstanding woman of God. And when you ask her how did she get over the molestation or any of the bad things what does she say? God. Nothing more and nothing less. That reminds me of His awesome power time and time again.

So when people see me in Church 24-7 they truly don't know why I'm there. They (even Christians) might think it's weird that I over church or fellowship so much but I look at it this way:

• They don't know what God has done for me
• They don't know how much I need from God
• They truly must not know the power of the God we serve-it is my duty and honour to layout before Him

It's hard to explain how much my soul and heart yearn to be around Him. Everything I have and everything I do is because of Him. Everyday that He gives me to work or gallivant is a blessing. How can I repay the being who has done all these things for me? I can't. So I spend time with Him, in his presence, thanking Him. That's all I can do.

The best thing about it is that the more I answer to His call and am obedient and faithful the more faithful He is towards me.

I told my friend yesterday before prayer meeting that "I can't just be giving out my prayers to anyone: I'm on fire. Everything I've prayed for I've been getting!" Thank God that prayer is free! Or else I'd really be as selfish as the joke I made.

I prayed for God to send me a job by August 1 and He did...a great paying one! and I prayed for a cheap ticket to Toronto, the day before I had to be there, and He did it. I prayed for Him to find a heart for my Dad's transplant and for me to hear back from my employers for another contract by August 28 and while my Dad's heart hasn't come yet my contract did...at even more pay. While a new heart for dad would have been better than a job, I know that God has a plan.

This whole year I've spent worrying and praying for God to make a way for me to participate in 3 weddings in 3 different countries and He did it! I had no full-time job but he made a way! And now I have an awesome testimony! Staying in His presence is what strengthened me and brought me through.

Read Isaiah 55 and be encourage!

¹ "Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.

² Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.

I know who holds tomorrow...

So after my last post, on the 30th, I got a offer a temporary position starting the next day. It pays double what I was making before and doesn't involve interaction with customers (a feature I like a lot).

I truly believe that if I didn't keep seeking Him, ie. waking up in the morning of the 29th and 30th to go to church and pray, this offer would have never come. Also if I never let go of my former job, where I was not satisfied, I wouldn't have allowed God to be true in my life.

It's called stepping out in faith. I have done a lot this year by His grace: visited Jamaica, Toronto and London, been living on my own for almost a year have lost some more weight too. God has seen me through it all.

And all I want is to have strong testimony for Him and I am sure that I will!

Thank You Jesus

The Lord Will Perfect That Which Concerns Me

Hello Saints,

I'm still in pursuit of that full time job in communications but I've just completed a 8 day fast so I am certain that God is going to do it for me. What makes this so bad though is that I let go of my part-time job so I got nada! I am depending on the goodness of God.

I had a thought this morning at Early Morning Prayer and Pentecostal Tabernacle of B.C (Burnaby, BC): When people ask me how's the job search going it's not "I've heard nothing and I've prayed," it's "I've heard nothing BUT I've prayed." AMEN.

I said in faith that that job is coming, the door is open, the wall has been torn down.

For now I worship, write, workout and wait on His goodness to prevail.

This morning I was tormented. I wanted to sleep in but at a point I couldn't and went to church to pray. Being without work is more than worrying about bills its the fact that I wake up in the morning not knowing what I should do! No structure. I wake up upset that I'm still here: not working and seemingly not having my prayers answered. It's a harsh feeling but I've left all of that at the altar this morning. I have let go of the sorrow and have replaced it with gladness. I have let go of the past failures and have decided to be content within my current situation...because I will be coming out soon!

So there you have it folks...my declaration...I hope to be writing my testimony here soon too!

Also Pentab is currently in fast and prayers for God to allow us to come up with 2 million in 6 months for the building fund. That's big. My commitment is for 2000 by December. Considering that I'm not working and racked up some debt on my AMEX that's a big deal. That's stepping out in faith. I mean God said He'll never leave nor forsake me. If I'm not working but have bills to pay and gifts to give is He not going to come through? I'm giving in faith. In my spirit I know He'll do it. Sometimes I think though that He hasn't done it since I started going to Pentab and early morning prayers in March. But that's why I let go of the past this morning! I need to exercise faith. I am walking in covenant. He has made away for me to go to Jamaica and England this year and with His help Miami in October will happen too!

God comfort me and keep in Your shadows. Keep me in perfect peace.

About to listen to 102.5 Praise's worship at one!

HE WILL SUPPLY ALL MY NEEDS

I'm still going through...

Yes I have a great roof over my head, I'm healthy, I work but I don' t have what I've been searching for. I've been seeking a full time job in communications all year...I've been searching for a full-time job with good pay for even longer. But yet I have not found.

I still hold on to the fact that His word says He shall supply all my needs (Phil 4:19). His word says if I seek I shall find, ask and I will receive, ask and it will be given unto ME.

I remember in November when I was coming home from a shift at my part time retail job I decided to stop at a grocery store and treat myself. I had $5 on me and I bought a marked down salad and a frozen dinner. I was happy. I came home listening to Kirk Franklin's He Will Supply from his The Fight of My Life Album. As I turned the key to my apartment I was absorbing the lyrics. I knew that God would make a way for me to pay rent and support myself off my meager wages. The second I opened the door, with the song still blaring in my ears I found out I was robbed. Just moments before I came in, someone made off with what little I had; laptop, camera, glasses, sewing kit and my wallet.

What did I do? With in seconds I dropped to my knees and prayed. I don't know what I said but I'm sure the spirit interceded on my behalf.

That was November 27, 2008 and I still here now. I've almost officially replaced everything the enemy literally stole from me except for my prescription glasses. And God has done all of that for me without me working that full-time job that I wanted. Now, I have a lot of expenses coming up but I won't fear. I will only believe (Mark 5:36). My God is great and he shall supply all of my needs according to His riches and glory in Christ.

It is well

I'm gonna run on and see what the ends gonna be...

There is nothing left to do but keep pushing. I've been looking for a full time job in the new city that I'm in for 6 months. I won't even think about the 16 months I spent desiring a job or a better job where I used to live or even the 6 months before then when I was unemployed.


This storm is particularly discouraging because it is causing me to lose faith in myself and question my worth (ie. "maybe I'm not good enough", "does God not want me to be happy" etc.)

It's even more discouraging because I am not alone and I see my brothers and sisters in Christ becoming more and more despondent to His promises.

I am now at the point where I know God is there, and I know that He will do it, I don't know why He hasn't done it and I don't care because all I want is for Him to do it now!

Who cares why things happen. God is in control and it is a part of His plan. I don't need to know why it seems like God may not make a way for me to do the things that I desire (like work full-time!). For all I know it could be to bring Him more glory when He comes through in the nick of time or for me to learn how to trust and obey in spite of it all.

Either way this storm is stretching me to the point of discomfort. I want to sow more in to the kingdom and travel and have the funds to do things, good things.

I can list dozens of reasons why I believe I should be working more, why I am applying for these jobs etc. but until God does it I am left feeling like it is all in vain. I am now asking God to show Himself in my life.

Ps. 42 says "how long will they ask where is your God?" and that is my question to God. I am the closest some people get to Jesus and how does it look that I worship, fellowship, fast and tithe all in faith and still do not have what I have desired and asked for in prayer? Is He trying to make me stop caring about what people think or say or even maybe He wants me to draw even closer to Him. The more I am out of work the more hard it becomes to have that peace that surpasses understanding.

Oh, how my heart is heavy and my spirit is overwhelmed. I know He is there but I can't feel Him. If it's me I ask for Him to change that. I haven't been able to say a thank you from my spirit for His goodness in a long while.

I need Him now

..::MY GOD IS SO GOOD THAT'S WHY I WORSHIP HIM::..

I've been away from this site for a minute but my relationship with God has persevered. There is nothing that my God cannot do....

I was down a lot towards the end of the last year but even though my miracle hasn't come yet, I still will rejoice. I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my saviour (Jesus)-Hab 3:19.

I did a 20 day fast for clarity, I finished reading the entire bible and I found a church that feeds me in the city that I moved to.

I have to say that God is good. And now that I have become more independent, I have become more dependent on God. He shall supply all of my needs.

Is there anything that God can do? Yes. He can't and will not fail.

Amen saints and and be vigilant and prayerful in 2009 and take what the devil has stolen from you. This is my year of restoration (Joel 2:25-26) and in Jesus' name I receive all that was stolen from me (or that I let get away) and I receive it in tenfolds. AMEN.